I have so many things I need to be doing right now like getting ready for church, but I have so much on my mind that I want to share before it's replaced with lesser important things like pictures, packing, presents... My mind is going in several different directions, so I pray that you're able to understand as I try to put it in words.
Lately I've been reminded of how we really have no idea of what God's plans are for us and how our lives will be played out. Not only no idea, but that the ultimate control is not in our hands. So I take you back around a year. At this time, I had just started taking pictures for others. The idea of a business was very small. Didn't really charge...etc. I was pregnant, then I miscarried...
So now that I've set that up, let's go to last year's Christmas. We were at my aunt and uncle's house and I noticed a cousin of a cousin (yes, you read that right) with a nice camera, so I start talking with her about photography. In our conversation, she gives me a
website of one of her good friends that was a photographer.When I got home that night, I checked out her site. She was a talented photographer, enjoyed her website. That piece of paper with the website got put in a stack of papers (yes, unfortunately I have a few of those these days.) A couple months later, I came across the paper and decided to look at her website again. Her website now took me to her personal blog. She no longer did photography as a business but was in the middle of her adoption process. I began reading her blog on and off. She would still give photography tips and had great parenting ideas. What I didn't realize at the time was that God was teaching and opening my heart at the time through her writings. My own photography business was picking up a little, but wasn't very fruitful. I remember making a valentines ad for the paper and didn't get anything back from it. (Just an example, of where it was.)
Now we come to beginning of May, when Roger and I make the decision to adopt. Our thinking was that we had no savings or ideas of funding, but we'd get a loan and pay it off little by little. In the craziness of getting all of the paperwork for the adoption, God also blessed my photography business. And I'm talking tremendously. The months of May through now are a blur when it comes to the photography business. Somewhere in the middle, we realize that God is using this as the main financing for our adoption. We had no idea!
I link up to several adoption blogs, including Andrea's (Babe of My Heart). God has used these incredible women I know to raise awareness, encourage, and teach others. He uses these things, that seems so small, as part of His plan. Now, some of my family and a few friends read these. My sister shared with us a few months ago that their family was now beginning the process of adoption. A year ago, she had no idea!
A year ago, I had no idea what this year had in store. I can definitely say that NONE of this was in my new year's resolutions! I had no idea that God was using a cousin of a cousin giving me a photography website to mold our hearts to His. I had no idea that I would be wishing for a day of no photography! I had no idea that my miscarriage would be used in the transformation of my desires. (I'm still not quite sure what I believe about this...because I don't think he caused the miscarriage, but used the miscarriage.)
I think I know some of the things 2011 will have in store....but maybe I don't. Will there be blessings? I'm certain. Heartache? I'd like to hope not, but probably. But I know I can rest in the peace of knowing there is a sovereign God who works all things to His glory!
There you have it...the thoughts impressed in my mind now. There's several other disconnected blurps I'd like to add. But not sure how to tie it all in! Maybe someday I'll be a good writer and be able to be used through it as many other's writings have been used to help me along the way...